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What should Daniel Levy do to alleviate the crisis at Tttenhm?

Accept their position as one of the Premiership's minnow and offer to become a nursery club for Arsenal

Tell Ramos to keep going, ensuring that they save their best performances for the top six teams, excluding Arsenal, in order to give their neighbours all the help they can to win the title

Sack Juande Ramos and spend the next six months courting Martin Jol (well, if Newcastle can do it with Keegan....)

Put the Dreem Team of Tddy Shringhm and Glnn H*ddle in charge and offer them £150m to buy success (based on previous form it should maintain the direct correlation between expectation and failure)

Apply to join the Ryman Premier League and plead with administrators that their ground and staff just about reach the minimum requirements

Sack Director of Football Damien Comolli and bring in the Gunners tea lady, who is more up to date with who Wenger rates

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