Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting in the Heads of State area 36%
The Chinese premier Hu Jintao admitted publicly that he is a sex-robot from the future 15%
The hosts confirmed that Chinese is really just English spoken by a drunk and played backwards 19%
Paris Hilton had been tricked into providing the climax to the fireworks display by being force-fed Sichuan food until she exploded 30%
