I agree with all of Ray's comments - could use some more streamlining. And as usual the block of text Ray has suggested to start the story is a perfect one to hook interest. It's also well-written. Keep at it Robert - you've got a story.
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I agree with all of Ray's comments - could use some more streamlining. And as usual the block of text Ray has suggested to start the story is a perfect one to hook interest. It's also well-written. Keep at it Robert - you've got a story.