Would you turn Jayme's first page? Be tough. Comments help the writer.

3 Comments

  • Deb - 14 years ago

    I disagree Dan. I am one of those people who has no patience, and if I just discovered a mystery I'd rush right out in practically a hurricane. I did have an issue with the journal entry. I felt she was too concerned with the rules, and not concerned enough with the dialect from that era. The entry sounded as if it had been written just forty years ago at the most.

    The page is definitely worth turning.

  • John V - 14 years ago

    I turned the page. Compelling questions were raised - who was shot, by whom, why, and why does it matter in the present? However, some editing would be helpful. "Grabbing a rusty shovel that was propped up against the side of the farm house, she ran across the yard to the side of the garden" would IMO be better as "She grabbed a rusty shovel and ran to the side of the garden."

  • Dan - 14 years ago

    It's hard to believe that when a body has been buried for 144 years that exhumation can't wait until the rain is over. Ever tried digging in a storm? Also even harder to believe is the notion that a corpse wrapped in a rug wouldn't be completely decomposed by this time. I can suspend disbelief for fantasy/sci fi but in this world, the rules of physics still apply.

Leave a Comment

0/4000 chars


Submit Comment