Have you ever thought about leaving your PA?

I'm having a hard time leaving my aggressive bf and we been dating almost a year. I cant go and see my friends and I can't listen to my own music without him getting mad, I've been with him off and on all year, the biggest mistake was taking him back. what do i do and how can i get out without me getting hurt or my friends getting hurt? thanks

Dearest Denise,
I'm sorry I didn't see your comment sooner. They must have changed this lately. I didn't even know you could leave comments here. LOL. Sorry again.

It sounds like you're with a regular dictator. Certainly you're old enough now you don't need another father, besides I'm sure you already have one. These guys survive by isolating you as they know if you have friends and family supporting you they won't be able to maintain the constant hold they have.

I'm afraid My Dear, you are the only one that can stop him. You have to start standing up for you and you need to start getting back out with other people. If you're worried about him hurting your friends then start with going to church or Al-anon, or some other support group. Unless he actually beats you, let him get mad. And if he does hit you at all, call 911.

If he gets angry, and he doesn't beat you, what's the worst that can happen? Try not to let him know that it even fazes you. Try to ignore it as if he's not mad at all, or just be fairly quiet until he gets over it. Once he starts seeing he doesn't have the ability anymore to scare you into submission, maybe he'll quit trying it.

How did you get out before? You said your mistake was "taking him back". Now you know. If there's a repeat performance of what caused the break up before, let him go. No one "has" to live like you're living, and the more you give into him the worse it's going to get.

Good luck. Stop by the blog anytime. There are a lot of us on there willing to lend support.