Please Vote for your Favorite Facebook Status Message
Snoop Dogg's "Sexual Seduction" is blaring from a company party right now. I need to get up from my desk to see if anyone is grinding.
is going to tell Kate Gosselin exactly what I think of her haircut.
When you are a 45 year old woman, you can no longer wear T-shirts that say I heart puppies. Maybe if your a dog breeder, and its your profession, then it's acceptable. And if your a 45 year old mental
7 hour flight next to an infant. don't be jealous.
you know your officially a new yorker when someone randomly smiles at you when you'r walking down the street and you think ..."that was creepy"
If Adam and Eve were tempted with a Honey Crisp apple, then the whole thing makes sense to me right now...
survived Las Vegas with both his ring finger and bank account (barely) intact
I'm thinking the KitKat might've just negated my healthy lowfat pineapple/granola yogurt from this morning...
note to self - do not apply self tanner before a 10 hour work day. ugh smells so bad
Has discovered that cleaning for 4 hours yeseterday = not quite standing upright today.
the square root of 69 is 8 something
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