What could President Obama have said or done that might’ve legitimately upset the parents of schoolchildren?
Encouraged kids to find the red queen after betting their lunch money on his game of Three-Card Monte
Mediated a playground dispute by inviting the children involved to the Rose Garden for a beer
Scrapped his planned speech to instead read highlights from Kevin Smith’s 24-hour Twitter marathon
Pointed out that nobody likes a quitter, so kids should stay in school and he should keep smoking cigarettes
Sent Vice President Biden in his place
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