Kirk is a master strategist, a hero, and a badass who has made gods weep ("Who Mourns for Adonis", anyone?). It's not his fighting skills that win take the day here....his greatest victories, especially over beings touched by madness, has been in simply TALKING THEM DOWN off Crazy Mountain. It would not be through combat, or any ability to "seduce" that he would beat Tam, but through his simple humanity, and his ability to reach the humanity in others, that Kirk would triumph..by reaching Tam's buried humanity, and reaching accord. She's make a hell of a recruit for Starfleet Academy.
I love me some Kirk. But River is Bad Ass. Capital B, capital A. Kirk would wet his pants at the sight of Reavers. I don't think Kirk would know what to do MOST of the awesome kick ass women in sci-fi today. Buffy could take him. The Speedster could take him. Cameron in SCC could take him. And not one of them would be fooled by his sweet talk.
And Dude is right. Picard>Kirk. Picard's got more game in his little finger than Kirk.
brinderwalt - 15 years ago
Anti-poll spammer, I salute you!
Alia - 15 years ago
Ok, so she can't whip up an on-the-spot, one-shot gun out of some minerals, bamboo, and a hulking great diamond (actually, River probably could do this, wiz kid and all that she is) But Kirk would swan in with his softly lit smile, turn on the charm, and say, "River, pretty name, for a pretty young woman." And River would OWN HIM IN THE THROAT!
see the TOS episodes 'Arena' and 'Miri', and the movie Serenity for further information.
>_
Anti-poll spammer - 15 years ago
I'm glad nobody seems to be stacking this poll.
The River-Cameron poll was around 60(River)/40(Cameron) after several thousand votes. Then, several hundred votes per minute for Cameron started coming in, and it turned into something like 35(River)/65(Cameron). I responded by making even more votes per minute come in for River, until we were back at that 60/40 equilibrium. But after that, the poll spammer decided to push several thousand votes for Cameron overnight. So, assuming that the 3000+ people who initially voted 60/40 cared more than the idiot stacking the poll, I pushed a bunch of River votes to fix things. Even after the poll "closed" and this poll opened, there were Cameron votes coming in from the abyss!
Lesson: DO NOT stack the votes on cool sites like io9. I might not like who's winning, but if it looks legit, that's great. If it looks VERY OBVIOUSLY stacked, as with the Cameron poll-spammer...well, I can out-spam you.
(Oh, yeah, and "Gawker Media," try using a polling site that can't be so ridiculously easily manipulated.)
Dude - 15 years ago
Anyone who thinks Kirk would win is an annoying Trekkie fanboi.
You are the reason I dislike the fanbase of that mediocre show.
And Picard > Kirk anyway...
rodzoom - 15 years ago
Come on..
Hand to Hand - River. Kirk would not have a chance (it a chick thing, ya?).
Even Spock (you pick the one) can whip Kirk any day of the week.
Weapons - Set a phaser to emit an EM field and poor River is melting.
If River is in Kirk time, on his ship, Kirk is the man.
If Kirk (up in the pic) goes back in time with what he holding, River is toast.
What? Bring a blade to an Anti-Matter fight?
Rory - 15 years ago
River wins! HANDS DOWN!! there's no reasoning with her. There's no mind games to played on her (she can outsmart anyone)
If she's determined to do something (like alerting the crew about Miranda, she kicked he own brother in the neck, but she did it because he stood in her way and she didn't even think about it) and protect herself (ex. Reaver showdown).. She just goes off!
If River senses in the slightest of ways that Kirk has an ulterior motive, he'd stand no chance. She'd nap his neck before he could blink. Beat the living charm right outta him.
brinderwalt - 15 years ago
She's not like Khan, she's like Spock, who is - in turn - Batman to Kirk's Superman (and we all know who ultimately wins that scenario...)
You've got to be kidding me-- he's Kirk. His whole repertoire was honed fighting aliens who were tougher, faster, more psychic, & more...whatever than him. He beat Khan, & River is like a young Khan. Kirk wipes the floor with her. Then in sick bay the fix her up so she's not scared & crazy any more.
& then Mal asks for his autograph.
I mean-- I like Firefly better than Star Trek but he is KIRK for crying out loud.
Milla - 15 years ago
Well apparently, all you need is some charm and a penis to bet up a psychic girl with more power, more agility and better fighting techniques.
I'm sorry but a lot of those comments, though they might just be in good fun, are pretty damn sexist.
Elle - 15 years ago
If he doesn't, I won't be surprised just because of Glau's huge fanboy base, but Kirk would beat her. Then seduce her. Or maybe both at the same time. Either way.
Jason - 15 years ago
If Kirk wins this, I will NEVER come to this website again..... there is no way in hell he would have a chance against her.
Kirk is a master strategist, a hero, and a badass who has made gods weep ("Who Mourns for Adonis", anyone?). It's not his fighting skills that win take the day here....his greatest victories, especially over beings touched by madness, has been in simply TALKING THEM DOWN off Crazy Mountain. It would not be through combat, or any ability to "seduce" that he would beat Tam, but through his simple humanity, and his ability to reach the humanity in others, that Kirk would triumph..by reaching Tam's buried humanity, and reaching accord. She's make a hell of a recruit for Starfleet Academy.
I love me some Kirk. But River is Bad Ass. Capital B, capital A. Kirk would wet his pants at the sight of Reavers. I don't think Kirk would know what to do MOST of the awesome kick ass women in sci-fi today. Buffy could take him. The Speedster could take him. Cameron in SCC could take him. And not one of them would be fooled by his sweet talk.
And Dude is right. Picard>Kirk. Picard's got more game in his little finger than Kirk.
Anti-poll spammer, I salute you!
Ok, so she can't whip up an on-the-spot, one-shot gun out of some minerals, bamboo, and a hulking great diamond (actually, River probably could do this, wiz kid and all that she is) But Kirk would swan in with his softly lit smile, turn on the charm, and say, "River, pretty name, for a pretty young woman." And River would OWN HIM IN THE THROAT!
see the TOS episodes 'Arena' and 'Miri', and the movie Serenity for further information.
>_
I'm glad nobody seems to be stacking this poll.
The River-Cameron poll was around 60(River)/40(Cameron) after several thousand votes. Then, several hundred votes per minute for Cameron started coming in, and it turned into something like 35(River)/65(Cameron). I responded by making even more votes per minute come in for River, until we were back at that 60/40 equilibrium. But after that, the poll spammer decided to push several thousand votes for Cameron overnight. So, assuming that the 3000+ people who initially voted 60/40 cared more than the idiot stacking the poll, I pushed a bunch of River votes to fix things. Even after the poll "closed" and this poll opened, there were Cameron votes coming in from the abyss!
Lesson: DO NOT stack the votes on cool sites like io9. I might not like who's winning, but if it looks legit, that's great. If it looks VERY OBVIOUSLY stacked, as with the Cameron poll-spammer...well, I can out-spam you.
(Oh, yeah, and "Gawker Media," try using a polling site that can't be so ridiculously easily manipulated.)
Anyone who thinks Kirk would win is an annoying Trekkie fanboi.
You are the reason I dislike the fanbase of that mediocre show.
And Picard > Kirk anyway...
Come on..
Hand to Hand - River. Kirk would not have a chance (it a chick thing, ya?).
Even Spock (you pick the one) can whip Kirk any day of the week.
Weapons - Set a phaser to emit an EM field and poor River is melting.
If River is in Kirk time, on his ship, Kirk is the man.
If Kirk (up in the pic) goes back in time with what he holding, River is toast.
What? Bring a blade to an Anti-Matter fight?
River wins! HANDS DOWN!! there's no reasoning with her. There's no mind games to played on her (she can outsmart anyone)
If she's determined to do something (like alerting the crew about Miranda, she kicked he own brother in the neck, but she did it because he stood in her way and she didn't even think about it) and protect herself (ex. Reaver showdown).. She just goes off!
If River senses in the slightest of ways that Kirk has an ulterior motive, he'd stand no chance. She'd nap his neck before he could blink. Beat the living charm right outta him.
She's not like Khan, she's like Spock, who is - in turn - Batman to Kirk's Superman (and we all know who ultimately wins that scenario...)
You've got to be kidding me-- he's Kirk. His whole repertoire was honed fighting aliens who were tougher, faster, more psychic, & more...whatever than him. He beat Khan, & River is like a young Khan. Kirk wipes the floor with her. Then in sick bay the fix her up so she's not scared & crazy any more.
& then Mal asks for his autograph.
I mean-- I like Firefly better than Star Trek but he is KIRK for crying out loud.
Well apparently, all you need is some charm and a penis to bet up a psychic girl with more power, more agility and better fighting techniques.
I'm sorry but a lot of those comments, though they might just be in good fun, are pretty damn sexist.
If he doesn't, I won't be surprised just because of Glau's huge fanboy base, but Kirk would beat her. Then seduce her. Or maybe both at the same time. Either way.
If Kirk wins this, I will NEVER come to this website again..... there is no way in hell he would have a chance against her.