Do you spank your children?

It varies with the kid. My older has never been even swatted & he would emotionally go to pieces. The younger has a much different temperment & has gotten the rare spanking for a serious offence, such as throwing a metal toy pot at me (hard!) while I was 6 mo. pregnant.

I was of the "spanking = child abuse" school of thought until my child was 9--and a horrible brat. He was a chronic liar with an attitude problem the size of Texas and California put together. We tried time outs, sentence writing, mandatory apologies, discussions, lectures, praise for good behavior, modeling good behavior, grounding, etc. NONE of them helped.

When he was 9, he slapped me (hard) across the chest while I was trying to get him to tell me the truth (after yet another round of lying). His butt wore the (until then) decorative wall paddle. Over the next couple weeks, we discovered that 1 swat wasn't enough per offense. However, at 2 swats per offense, he straightened up.

We only used spanking as a punishment for lying and direct disobedience. Anything else was dealt with through "kinder, gentler" methods. And, after the first few weeks, we only had spank him once every few months for the couple of years.

Although we haven't spanked him (as far as I can recall) in about 5 years, it was the most effective disciplinary tool we've ever used. My only regret is that we didn't spank him when he was younger so that the habit of obedience to authority would have been ingrained early on, and spanking would, instead, have been a distant memory by age 9.

I should also add that we used a paddle instead of hands because it meant that it put a calming distance between us and his misbehavior. In other words, it gave the parent time calm down while getting the paddle, and we weren't grabbing his struggling body and slapping at him with a hand while trying to control our emotions. It also ensured that he would be staying still for his punishment because one swat would get added per time he was told to stand still.

I think it is very important that a child knows the reasons for punishment and what the punishment will be. Parents who sometimes let misbehavior go and other times heatedly grab the child and slap at his butt are probably causing more harm than good. At the very least, they're showing that hitting someone is a way of venting their emotions. I also think that, even when properly done, spanking should be the option of last resort and that there are some children for whom any form of spanking would be too harsh. Other children, like my son, will respond to nothing less than the parenting equivalent of a brick wall.

We used our hands, but had a routine we went through -- "Did you (do whatever the offense was)?" "Are you allowed to (insert offense)?" "Were you obedient or disobedient?" "What happens to disobedient little boys/(girls)?" [The answer here was "They get a spanking."] And then after the spanking we told them that we loved them and that was why we had to spank.

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some people. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking".

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why buttock-battering isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
The LDS Church (http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html click "quotes on spanking"),
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Please sign the petition to ban the barbaric practice

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/america39s-behind--ban-the-physical-assault-of-children