How often do you leave your children with a babysitter?

This is kind of a misleading question because many moms have relatives who regularly (even every week) babysit for free. Because I have no family in the area and it is hard to even find a sitter, I rarely get one and we don't go out. Maybe the question should have been, how often do you GET a sitter instead of HIRE a sitter.

no sitter, I thought the very same thing. We have some family not too far from us and I babysit for my brother a few times a year (he also has 4) but we never go out w/out our children. I can count on one hand how many times they have been "babysat" out of sheer necessity (when I had surgery or was in the hospital giving birth...those don't count, though). My dh believes that it is OUR responsibility to care for our children and so we do...someday they will all be gone & we will have more alone time than we will know what to do with. lol

To Mary, above - I agree that our children are our responsibility, but providing a safe sitter situation for them while you and your husband go out in no way means that you are shirking your responsibility! I am guessing your children are still young - when we had only young children we tended to take them everywhere, too. But now with teens in the mix, we no longer get "alone time" at home, so we often take advantage of them being able to babysit their siblings and go out for the evening, usually several times per month. We are able to have uninterrupted converstations, which we are rarely able to do at home. It seems to give us a chance to reconnect with one another. I think that makes us better parents! Add to that, once you have more than a handful, it's impractical and sometimes impossible to take them all with you to a dentist (or OB!) appointment, or sometimes even shopping, so before my kids were old enough to do it, my sisters and I would trade babysitting.

But I agree with the first commenter - in either case we don't "hire" the sitters, so I'd have to answer "never" for us!

Good point, ladies! I changed the wording to how often you LEAVE your children with a sitter to cover all those options.

We definitely use babysitters a couple times a month at least. Once is for our Teams of Our Lady meeting, which is an amazing prayer group for married couples. And then we always tend to have something (a fundraiser, a meeting, a volunteering obligation) that requires a sitter. I wish we could use our babysitters for date nights more often, but life tends to get in the way. Ideally, we'd go on a date twice a month, but I'd take once a month! I think that quality time set aside to focus on just my marriage is so necessary.

And some things we just have to say no to for financial reasons. With six children ages 11 and uder, babysitting is expensive!

Our children are watched on average twice a week because both my husband and I have a hard time making it with just our combined paychecks. As for having a sitter just to go out and have a good time - that is VERY rare. Only for our anniversary or for a birthday. Usually it is one of us watching the children so the other one can go out with a third party.

We let me dad watch Cecilia one afternoon before Felicity was born and then when I was in the hospital from giving birth. Felicity has never been without either mommy or daddy, so the birth of this baby will be her first time and I expect that to be, again, with my dad. I'm just not comfortable leaving my kids.

I put rarely, because my oldest is old enough to watch his siblings. I often leave him for short periods with the youngest ones to take people to soccer practices or dental appointments or whatever, but mostly, we also take our kids everywhere we go. We (husband and I) don't get out much alone together. When we do go out, then the oldest watches the younger ones.

I would love to leave my kids with a sitter at least for a once/month date with hubby, but we are new to this community and don't know anyone well enough to ask them to babysit. Sadly all of our willing family members are too far away for babysitting. Boo. So when our family comes to visit we usually try to take advantage of it and get some spouse time, too!

I chose "never" because we never leave them with anyone other than family. We often go places without them but either one of the older children sits with them or if it is an overnight we leave them with the grandparents.

My teen daughters are "professional" sitters with their own business but I don't consider leaving them with family the same thing as leaving them with a "sitter". :-)

Blessings,
Krisann

Krisann & Jeanne, I do the same as you - my older kids watch the younger ones if I have to take someone to soccer or a class, and before my own kids were old enough to watch them, my younger sisters would. In 20 years of parenting I can only think of two times that we hired a non-family sitter. Unlike you both, however, I chose "several times a week"! (I guess that's why they say polls are worthless!) Now it is a pleasure for me to be able to go to the grocery store without all my kids trailing behind me like baby ducklings! OH, it's SOOO much faster! And I can take the small car to soccer practice instead of the 15 passenger van!

Exactly... My older 2 are 17 and 15, and I leave home very often leaving one or the other in charge. But, they aren't really "babysitters," so I checked NEVER.

Hi

As a physician, I relied on great babysitters for 17 years. These 2 girls are now part of our family, as I took care of thousands of patients and contributed to science. It really is a personal decision that depends on you and your family's calling.

But the people you pick do influence your children, so it's important to screen them and get to know them very well. Word of mouth references are the best.

As a mother of two under three and a deployed husband, I try to go out by myself once a week so I am a refreshed and kind mom to them.