I have some capitalization comments. Is "The Striped Hyena" a proper name? If not, why is it capped. It may be the title of the book. Wadi is an Egyptian generic nown for river. Would we cap river in English?
I wouldn't, but probably not for the reasons you'd think. The animal bit is well written, but I hate writing about animals as if they could think. This particular animal is very wordy. He should just smell the man, find him, and get on with the real story which, I hope, is about people that can think. The way he's going, I'll have to read another hour before the story starts.
I have some capitalization comments. Is "The Striped Hyena" a proper name? If not, why is it capped. It may be the title of the book. Wadi is an Egyptian generic nown for river. Would we cap river in English?
I confess I voted yes. I would turn the page.
I wouldn't, but probably not for the reasons you'd think. The animal bit is well written, but I hate writing about animals as if they could think. This particular animal is very wordy. He should just smell the man, find him, and get on with the real story which, I hope, is about people that can think. The way he's going, I'll have to read another hour before the story starts.